Song Of My Struggle

https://vimeo.com/49210580

HPV and Cancer

Michael Douglas discussed his battle with throat cancer in an interview with The Guardian newspaper, in which doctors raised the point that some throat cancers can be caused by a sexually transmitted virus, HPV, related to cervical cancer.

But Douglas' spokesperson has rebutted the newspaper's headline saying that oral sex caused his cancer. The spokesperson said that the article simply included discussion of oral sex as a suspected cause of certain oral cancers.

USA TODAY asked cancer experts to explain HPV's role in oral cancer and other diseases.

Yes, HPV causes lot's of different cancer's.  People have to be honest about their HPV, unlike my ex husband.  I should have questioned that "mole" he said he had since he was a child.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2013/06/03/hpv-causes-a-growing-number-of-oral-cancers/2383013/

Answers from God?

Many people pray and wait for answers to come from God.  These are important prayers and answers affecting careers, and changes in our life that affect our families and loved ones.

I am not against organized religion, many people have it in there lives and it gives them comfort and structure.  
My rant has to do with one person in particular who will ask for "selective" guidance from Church and God and may be ignoring what messages to attempt to make a wrong, right.

You can wish that chapter of your life will disappear, and your damage will fade away.  But it won't.

A simple apology for a hateful act, admission of what was done was wrong.  And a concern for the medical condition that I continue to battle would suffice.

Perhaps at a weekly Bible study, or Church visit it may don on you that this would be the right thing to do?

I am sending my request (or prayer) to the Universe (or God) that this may occur.

Helpful website full of resources and support
http://www.nccc-online.org/

All The Good Things

So very lucky to have my son who is a healthy, active, inquisitive 6 year old.

So very lucky to have my soul mate who has been there to support me spiritually and financially during my treatment and is responsible for the conception of my son.  He insisted I freeze my eggs before my first round of treatment and has provided for each and every need.

So very lucky to have my family, who has not agreed with all my decisions, but supports me still.

So very lucky to have met the HH, Dalai Lama.  A beautiful, funny man that made me feel at peace :)

Where To Begin?

After that day, your life is never the same. "That day" is the day the doctor tells you, "You have cancer." Every one of us knows someone who's had to face that news. It's scary, it's sad. But it's still life, and it's a life worth living.


I now face my third battle with cancer, treatment starting in 40 days.  The bad news is I'm tired of this fight.  Knowing what effort I have to put into it, and the brave face I must again put on.  The good news is I know what I'm in for, no surprises.

A little background is most likely needed.

In my former marriage, my husband had HPV.  At the time he swore he did not know about it, and claimed his "mole" had been there since he could remember.  Well, after discovering a small, itchy spot on myself, which brought me to the doctor.  The doctor removed what he saw and said it was HPV and my husband must have contracted it.  Sure enough he had his "mole" tested and removed and it was HPV.

Contracting HPV was the source of my cancer.  

After this chapter, I had trouble trusting him and had witnessed another disturbing event that was part of a plan to trap me.  I won't go into graphic details, but it was another STD and insisting to be intimate during an "outbreak".

At that point I needed out.  I looked for every reason not to be home while I gathered my life together and hunted for an apartment.  I was planning my escape you could say.

He became verbally abusive over time and very manipulative.  I was not blinded as before and could see the reason for saying anything he did.  (it's funny how you don't see these things before!)  I did some house sitting and got away from it all staying at a girl friends house.

He confronted me and claimed that I was having an affair, said he could prove it.  (the only affair I was having was with my dream to escape)  He got violent and pushed me around, so I agreed with him that I was having an affair.  I moved to the guest room and he confronted me with a letter.  In this letter, he wrote to all of my loved ones, stating that I was having an affair and his evidence was as follows:

Me being away

and pubic hair on my soap bar

It was mine and I had neatened up my area.

(not unusual for me, and I did have a gyno appointment coming up)

But that was his proof.

So he had addressed them to my family members and said that he would not mail them if I agreed to stay with him.

I said,  "Mail them."

and he did.  (I really wish I had a copy, it was something real crazy to read.  I burned it some years ago)

My parents came out to see that I was safe and went over to the house to gather the rest of my things.

I'm really glad I got out of there!

And I feel such a release typing this!