Sunday, December 23, 2012

Holidays and Celebrations

What a great way to celebrate....Family and friends.

Wishing you all the best holiday and a most happy new year!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Sunshine + positive people = heeling

Loving these lounges while my boy plays in the sand.  So peaceful and relaxing.
Watching this little one catch some waves. Amazing!

Feeling good on the paddle board

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Contradictions everywhere

Contradictions are human nature?

Many people say one thing and do another.  You know the, "I'm such a good Christian" and then bashing another person because of what they wore.
Or the church goer that is unhappy about the recent election results and calls the current president "Blobama".  Yeah, that's classy.
Whatever happen to:  It's god's will?
So who you voted for did not win.  What's next?

Get up and get back to life.  

Stop whining.  

Stay positive and spread your joy.

It really is not the end of the world.

Remember, heaven's in your heart,
                                                             and no one can take that away unless you let them.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

To Miami


Time for a change and to be on the beach.
Off to Miami we go for life, love and treatment.

Always loved Miami and my son's Daddy loves to visit and can do for long periods of time.

So lots of fun in the sun.  And the dock is one of my favorite places!  

Ever since I was a little girl, I loved being by the boats and fishing right off the dock.

Favorite Doctors there also.  Can't wait!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Talking it out with friends

How can a friends words make me so angry discussing my situation and so satisfied at the same time?  Well, that's my friend Henry.  What a special surprise visit to Austin. 
Thanks for talking till 3am, by the fire and killing several bottles of wine.  Always there to let me talk it out and I'll always be there to make BLT's at 2am.

Friday, September 28, 2012

HPV - Sometimes for many years

So true....HPV can last and be contagious for many years.  It all depends on your immune system and the ability to fight it off.
This makes it very important to disclose your condition.
Just because the doctor froze them off with cryotherapy, does not mean the std is gone.
Hmm.  Makes me wonder if the ex disclosed his condition with his current wifey.
Oh, it's okay.  He will just go to church on Sunday and be forgiven.  Right?
That's how it works....

Not for me...I believe in Karma.

Peace Y'all

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Answers from God?

Many people pray and wait for answers to come from God.  These are important prayers and answers affecting careers, and changes in our life that affect our families and loved ones.

I am not against organized religion, many people have it in there lives and it gives them comfort and structure.  
My rant has to do with one person in particular who will ask for "selective" guidance from Church and God and may be ignoring what messages to attempt to make a wrong, right.

You can wish that chapter of your life will disappear, and your damage will fade away.  But it won't.

A simple apology for a hateful act, admission of what was done was wrong.  And a concern for the medical condition that I continue to battle would suffice.

Perhaps at a weekly Bible study, or Church visit it may don on you that this would be the right thing to do?

I am sending my request (or prayer) to the Universe (or God) that this may occur.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Cannot Be Erased

Our dear friend, Lance has been battered and beaten by the USADA.  And finally he is finished.
Frankly, we do not blame him and don't believe it is an admission of guilt.
He's just done...
And we know who won those titles.  Cannot be erased!

Keep up the great work with the foundation, friend!

BTW, the lake is full :)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Back to school

Back to the routine, and grind...  Thank goodness my little one just loves school!
Week 2 and doing great!
Great attitude and super at getting up early.

Enjoying the last of my candies from Italy!

Life is good!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Happy Surprise

New wine cellar!

What a great surprise waiting for me!

Making flavored olive oil from our originals

Great vacation!  More pictures to come!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Ciao! Ciao!

It's that time,  three weeks before school starts for my little man.  So we are off to Sorrento, Italy.  We have a place there and try to go several times a year.  And I really think it's time.
We finished school shopping, and are craving some family time and it's too hot at the lake in Texas.
Some good practice with the language, and fantastic food, with family.
Some serious Daddy time...

The pool.  I will be here with the IPad researching new recipes to try.

Olive grove

Love my olives and the olive oil that they make from it.  (I can't even to pretend to know how, we just send them off and they press them)

My favorite Limoncello store

So until September.....
I may not blog because I get lost in a special world there.
So be nice to each other.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Waiting for Karma?

As Deepak Chopra writes:  "A very simple way to interpret karma is that it is conditioned response, the past influencing the circumstances of the present as well as our tendencies to act in conditioned patterns of behavior. We become bundles of conditioned reflexes constantly triggered by people and circumstances into predicted outcomes. Hence karma is considered to be a prison, a bondage. The goal of the spiritual journey is to escape the prison of karma and bring about the true response of our soul which is creativity. The more creative and unpredictable our response to the world, the more we are aligned with the creator of the universe. That’s why the freedom that arises from transcending karma is referred to as liberation or moksha. In knowing our true essence beyond time, space, and causality, we become free of the wheel of samsara."

You could say that karma plays like a computer game that continues to direct, limit, and reinforce our choices based on our past decisions. Time plays out like a wheel, going around and around, repeating the same patterns again and again.

Well, it's hard to wait for karma when you keep dealing with the health issues caused by another person.  
I look at this man and he is successful in business and is happily married with children.  When we were together he was struggling to find out his dharma (lifework), and had many demons to heal with mentally.  Now he is a very vocal Christian, and church goer.

From pictures it seems like the perfect family.  He seems untouched by what has gone on and currently going on.  
A dear friend decided to contact him during my last round of treatment and there was no response.  So she did contact his current wife.  She was kind, but seemed to buy his version of events.  Did not comment on the letter of blackmail he sent to my family members.  
My friend was wondering what his reaction would be to my medical condition.  That was her first intention.  After no response, she told a cautionary tale to the current wife about the cancer and blackmail letter.  
No response after that.

Very hard to wait for Karma while trying to battle cancer.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

All The Good Things

So very lucky to have my son who is a healthy, active, inquisitive 6 year old.

So very lucky to have my soul mate who has been there to support me spiritually and financially during my treatment and is responsible for the conception of my son.  He insisted I freeze my eggs before my first round of treatment and has provided for each and every need.

So very lucky to have my family, who has not agreed with all my decisions, but supports me still.

So very lucky to have met the HH, Dalai Lama.  A beautiful, funny man that made me feel at peace :)

Where To Begin?

After that day, your life is never the same. "That day" is the day the doctor tells you, "You have cancer." Every one of us knows someone who's had to face that news. It's scary, it's sad. But it's still life, and it's a life worth living.

I now face my third battle with cancer, treatment starting in 40 days.  The bad news is I'm tired of this fight.  Knowing what effort I have to put into it, and the brave face I must again put on.  The good news is I know what I'm in for, no surprises.

A little background is most likely needed.

In my former marriage, my husband had HPV.  At the time he swore he did not know about it, and claimed his "mole" had been there since he could remember.  Well, after discovering a small, itchy spot on myself, which brought me to the doctor.  The doctor removed what he saw and said it was HPV and my husband must have contracted it.  Sure enough he had his "mole" tested and removed and it was HPV.

Contracting HPV was the source of my cancer.  

After this chapter, I had trouble trusting him and had witnessed another disturbing event that was part of a plan to trap me.  I won't go into graphic details, but it was another STD and insisting to be intimate during an "outbreak".

At that point I needed out.  I looked for every reason not to be home while I gathered my life together and hunted for an apartment.  I was planning my escape you could say.

He became verbally abusive over time and very manipulative.  I was not blinded as before and could see the reason for saying anything he did.  (it's funny how you don't see these things before!)  I did some house sitting and got away from it all staying at a girl friends house.

He confronted me and claimed that I was having an affair, said he could prove it.  (the only affair I was having was with my dream to escape)  He got violent and pushed me around, so I agreed with him that I was having an affair.  I moved to the guest room and he confronted me with a letter.  In this letter, he wrote to all of my loved ones, stating that I was having an affair and his evidence was as follows:
Me being away
and pubic hair on my soap bar
It was mine and I had neatened up my area.
(not unusual for me, and I did have a gyno appointment coming up)
But that was his proof.

So he had addressed them to my family members and said that he would not mail them if I agreed to stay with him.
I said,  "Mail them."
and he did.  (I really wish I had a copy, it was something real crazy to read.  I burned it some years ago)
My parents came out to see that I was safe and went over to the house to gather the rest of my things.

I'm really glad I got out of there!
And I feel such a release typing this!